I feel oddly vulnerable writing this week's blog. As you may or may not be able to see, I try to keep my life and my family's life pretty separate in the social media space, but this last week was full of things I try to hide from the public (and even my friends). I do this because my dad is a public figure and it's tough to maintain privacy and also my niche. I have a mission and goals that are separate from the empire my dad has created and it can get murky when the lens people look at me through is tainted by him. I have oscillated back and forth over the years between embracing it and wanting to be extremely boundaried with it. Of course I want to be respected for who I am, of course I want to be seen for me and my gifts, of course I despise when I'm in the middle of an event or a class or a live or whatever it is that I have dedicated my life to studying and teaching and someone says "I LOVE YOUR DAD."
But I've also wondered how much of my disdain for that or even innocent, natural human desire to be recognized for who I am is ego? I know a part of it is for sure. But how much? How much is fair? How much of it is really my own self work? Especially considering the outside world is unlikely to change.
It's a complicated role, being the child of a public figure. I look at my peers in this space with a lot of empathy. We struggle with deep insecurity, wild assumptions, the pressure of a million eyes and the weight of a legacy on top of us. We're desperate to be taken seriously, but there will always be the notion that we've ridden coattails or been given what we have. And the truth is, there will always be a degree of that no matter how far we go to forge our own paths.
Living in these shoes takes deep acceptance, a whole lot of letting go, and an essential connection to self. Why do you think I'm so big on meditation, self-study, and spirituality? Why do you think it's so important to me to maintain holistic wellness? Sanity is a huge part of that. I have to be my own anchor.
You're probably wondering why I've chosen this week's blog to get all into that. Read on to find out...
1. Taking breaks.
It's finally happening and my stress data (as tracked by my Oura ring) shows. Almost everyday of my life, my ring tells me I had a "stressful day." But guess what? It's now telling me I'm having some NORMAL days (meaning I'm going into relaxation and rest mode and am not peaking beyond the charts). All I'm doing differently now, is taking it easier. It took time to apply these changes, but I'm learning to just stop, look out the window, engage in casual conversation, go on a walk, make tea, etc. Here's a post I did for my own research on all the break possibilities if you're a complete hyperactive noob like me who doesn't know where to start. I feel so much better in general - like I'm wound up MUCH less tight.
2. Trusting things will get done.
To springboard right off the point above, a huge mindset shift for me lately has been committing to trusting that things will get done. In other words, trusting myself.
3. Kelly green.
This color may have already made an appearance in my musings, but it's just too real to omit. For some reason, it took me 26 years to figure out that this hue looks better on me than any other hue that exists. I remember the day, sometime in March 2022, I put on a kelly green tank top in a little boutique in Fort Lauderdale and never looked back. I am addicted to this color and may become one of those weird people that makes a color their whole personality. Talk me out of it in the comments.
4. Celebrating, not partying.
There's a quote that was just said about my dad that really got me. It also made me realize: damn, you think you're forging your own thoughts and beliefs, your own ways of being, your own original flavor - and though you do, you are and you will, you really are just a living breathing chunk of your parents. This one really snuck up on me:
"Sammy doesn't party, he celebrates. He celebrates being alive. He celebrates his friends, their talents, and their accomplishments. He celebrates that celebration itself is a thing. Have a good time, all the time." - John Mayer
So this too, is my culture. I thought I invented it, but I thought wrong.
5. Protein.
My trainer, Darla says we need (at least) our bodyweight in grams of protein per day. What does that mean? If you weigh 120 lbs, you need to eat 120 grams of protein per day. How you get it is up to you, but I really feel like this has changed my whole relationship to food. I feel more satisfied, fuller, more energized and healthier.
6. The Beverly Hills Hotel.
I was lucky to have spent a lot of time here growing up while my dad came to record music or attend events in LA. We stayed there for the first time in many, many years and it was full of nostalgia and sweetness. Memories of running through the hidden garden pathways, ordering milkshakes at the old breakfast bar, and having my little baby mind blown that if you swim underwater in the pool, you can hear music through the submarine speakers. With its iconic pink stripes and green banana leaves, it's definitely a spot to take a stroll through or grab a bite at for quintessential old Hollywood flair.
7. Letting instagram target me.
They're listening. Just let it happen. Let it serve you. The cutest clothes ever have been popping up in my feed and my wallet is upset, but my body is living for it.
8. The Hollywood star.
On April 30, 2024, a star was unveiled on Hollywood Walk of Fame with my dad's name on it. I've watched him accomplish a lot in my life, but for some reason, this one really got me. He was number 2779 of people inducted and chosen to be preserved on the streets of Hollywood and knowing what he came from and what he's done to earn that had me sobbing the whole ceremony. As he stood there, I watched him integrate the shame of his upbringing that drove him so far into a the very thing that made him proud to be there. From my seat I literally whisper-yelled through tears, "THAT'S SHADOW WORK, BABY!"
9. Brushing my hair.
I'm trying to do this in the morning and at night now to remove tangles and keep everything from breaking. It's sort of an experiment to keep my hair healthy, but it makes sense, right? I just got a frick-ton of ends chopped off and I am committed to letting these babies grow. Weird fact about me: when my hair is shorter than my nipples, I feel an abnormal level of self-consciousness. I love the messy look and it will still be, but with a little more care.
