I feel like I've been going through an initiation of sorts. Is this all Saturn Returns? I'm being asked what I want and being asked to hold my tenderest places. So much is magical. So much is anxiety-inducing. I am learning to find peace at all times. I am learning to trust myself and every twist and turn in my path as the path rather than a detour away from the path. Do you know what I mean?
Everything you do and are is perfect. You can do no wrong.
Isn't that an exhale?
1. Bad Bunny.
I'm sorry because this is so obvious, but honestly PRAISE GOD for Bad Bunny. I was having so much anxiety sitting on this plane and as soon as Bad Bunny came on in my headphones I literally felt euphoric. I've said it before and I'll say it again: my heart beats to the beat of reggaeton.
I forgot mine in California when I was in Maui and had to use tampons again for a full cycle. I can't believe I did this for half of my menstruating life. I can't believe women did this for lifetimes. Aside from the toxicity and the waste, they are SO INEFFICIENT, brother. In a day's single cup, I have to change my tampon like five times. GTFO literally.
3. Sunlight first thing in the morning.
Yes, even before meditation. It's summer. It's precious. And it's one of the best things for our nervous systems.
4. Songs that are not in English.
Back to Bad Bunny. Jk. But kinda not really. People often ask me why I love music that's in a different language so much (specifically Spanish, but others too). I've thought long and hard about this. I have multiple answers: 1. I love language. 2. I find other cultures extremely interesting. 3. It's refreshing. 4. Sometimes hearing more words in English is just too heady for an overly deep, linguistic, emotional girl. Plus since it's usually Puerto Rican Spanish, lord knows that's almost impossible to understand even for a Spanish-speaking girlie myself.
5. That I feel true self-love.
I'm not saying I do everything perfectly, but what feels really good is that I have honestly been going through it a lot lately (anxious city). And instead of beating myself up, I'm just caring for myself as best I can. It no longer affects how much I love me that I can't be perfect all the time. I am so proud of me for that.
6. Reclaiming my power.
I'm a spiritual human, as you probably know. But I am also a human. I also have sovereignty. I also have will. I also have desires. And I believe all of those things are just as important as the divinity in it all. Sometimes we forget that we get to decide what we want and fkn go for it.
7. The feeling of peace.
It can come and go, but my god, nothing is as sweet as the feeling of peace. I'm working on keeping this as close to baseline as possible.
8. Theo Von.
I honestly wonder if people think this is on or off-brand for me... He says things I'd never say and many I don't condone, but then again, life is too serious sometimes. And it seems this freaky guy has a pure heart. And more importantly than all of that (woah where are my priorities), he makes me laugh so hard idgaf.
Oh yeah, joy. ^
9. Cards at night.
We've been doing this to unwind. Just a couple of old ladies. It's so, so good.
