Sup.
I had a really humbling moment this past week. I retook the Enneagram Personality Test for fun and found out that where I was normally a 7 (Enthusiast) followed by a 3 (Achiever), I am now a 4 (Individualist) followed by the 7 and 3. Many of my friends are fours. Many people I DEEPLY admire are fours too (Frida Kahlo, Kurt Cobain, Billie Eilish, Rumi), but my goodness it can get dark in there, no?
I'll always have some four in me. I call myself the most positive, energetic emo I know - but I know that for me personally, when it's leading the charge, there are some mindset loops I'm stuck in. In my lows, I move from the external joy of living to hyper-fixation on my inner world. As I know myself and my tendencies, this has been a wake up call to nourish with affirmative words, play, and connect with humans more. The Enthusiast in me believes that life is meant to be lived.
Here's what else is good in the meantime...
1. Sleeping with an eye mask.
Sleeping in complete darkness is one of the key factors in getting good sleep. It aids circadian rhythm, melatonin production, and overall health. I always used to do this, but lost my mask for a few months. I ordered one and I slept so much better. Worth looking like a hostage (especially if you also use mouth tape - more on that another time).
2. Cookie dough.
A spoonful of cookie dough a day keeps the doctor away! Just kidding! But I love it!
3. This interview on what women need to hear about relationships.
There is so much gold in here for anyone, honestly.
4. Making joy/peace/anything good the "most interesting thing."
What do you find most interesting? In other words, what do you spend your time indulging in? Listening to? Asking about? Is it gossip? Suffering? Stress? Chaos? Or is it the good stuff? Admittedly, I am really interested in suffering. I know, I can't believe it, but I've found it to be very true. I love music, art and literature about suffering (think Frida Kahlo, Franz Kafka and Nirvana - I love them, but damn). I am very attuned to the suffering of humanity as someone who also wants to help/heal, but I'm finding that if I focus my attention on joy, peace or connection, people will heal even more. It's all about my way of going about it and it's all about selfless self-care.
5. Long solo hikes.
I used to do this all the time, but in my old age I got soft and codependent. I forced myself to FINALLY go hike this beautiful trail near my house and it was so serene, so magic and it transformed an anxious/down day into a beautiful, inspiring evening.
6. Community.
This has probably been on my musings before, but I'm starting to really believe that this is the healing of all healing. Nothing does it like good community. If you haven't noticed, I have taken a new approach to coaching. Instead of focusing on 1:1's, I'm focusing on creating community (hello Lush Life!) because THIS is where we heal. In play, in conversation, in support, in good company. I promise you can quantum leap with people who want the best for you.
7. Positive Affirmations.
Such OG self-support. I really feel that when you're feeling down, this is one of the best ways to start feeling up. I'm working with a loop daily now alongside my nervous system work and I truly feel it's one of the best ways to combat depression (aside from community, of course). Get my free one on my website landing page (try a private browser if the pop-up doesn't come up for you).
